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Safety
When We Match exists for one quiet, careful thing: letting two people find their way back to each other only when both of them want it. Everything below is how we make sure it can never be used for anything else.
A match can only ever form if two people independently named each other. We never tell anyone they are being looked for. If the person you named never signs up and names you in return, they learn nothing, and neither do you. There is no message to ignore, no notification to dread, and no way to use When We Match to reach someone who has not chosen to be reachable.
Before anyone is ever notified of a possible match, a person on our team reviews it by hand over a 48-hour window. We cross-check the details both people gave us — names, profile links, location history, approximate age — to confirm the two of you are genuinely describing each other and not a coincidence. If anything does not line up, the match does not go through.
The information you provide is used only to find and verify a match. The other person never sees it. Even after our team confirms a match, no names beyond a first name and no contact information are exchanged until each of you has separately said yes to reconnecting. Until that moment, the two searches stay sealed from one another.
There is no list to add yourself to, because you are never on one to begin with. A match can only form if you create an account, pay, and name someone yourself. If you never do that, there is simply nothing to surface — no profile, no record, no way for anyone to reach you through When We Match. Choosing not to use When We Match is the opt-out.
And if you do have an account, you stay in control: you can close your search at any time, and you can block specific people from ever matching with you from your safety settings.
If you would rather never be part of a match, you can block your own email from ever being matched. You can only add your own address, because we send a confirmation link to it first — so the block takes effect only once you open that link, and no one can add anyone else. The list is stored as one-way hashes, so the entries cannot be read back.
If something feels wrong — at any stage, before or after a match — you can tell us. From your account you can report a concern in a single step, and if you do not have an account you can reach our safety team directly at safety@whenwematch.co. A real person reads every report. We would rather pause a match than risk one that should not happen.
When we are unsure, we side with caution.
That is the whole promise. A reconnection should only ever happen because two people chose it, calmly, on their own terms.